Long Drives, Empty Hearts

What do you do when you just feel empty?
When you feel like there's just nothing for you?
Even if it may not be really so. . .

I did something scary yesterday.
Scary for me, Scary at the time.

Just like every other off day, I went over to my aunt's place.
Book in hand, there's the TV if I wanted to watch.
But I felt like going out.
Going out with someone, and talking.
The only person I could think of, had made plans with her mom.
Everyone else I knew had their own things to do. I didn't want to waste a text and turned down anyway.

As I got into the car, my mind just started to wonder.
The next thing I knew, I was driving away, further away from my home.

My car was heading to, well, nowhere in particular.
I drove pass Bayan Baru, then towards Balik Pulau.
I passed this place where the old GOS gang had our BBQ and campfire, if I may call it.
I missed those days. If I could remember exactly where the turnoff was, I would've gone there.
But I didn't. So I drove on.

The road went up hill.
Hardly any lights there. At some point, it was pitch black.
Narrow 2 lanes.
There were 2 narrow lanes, and the roads were winding.
With busses on the next lane, it was scary.
With the roads that were unfamiliar, it was scary.
Everytime I came to a place where the road was a little broader, where I could've attempted to turn back. . .
Part of me said "Do it, just turn back. You don't know where this is going."
Another part would say, "Just go."
So I just drove.
My palms were icy cold, despite the AC being on 1.

I drove through lonely roads, and unfamiliar kampungs, took a few wrong turnings because my eyes were too misty to read the Sign Boards and reached home 2 hours later.
Feeling a little calmer.