Weddings - to KISS or not to KISS

Wedding. . . Afterall it's once in a lifetime.

So why not?

Why not spend all we have (or even if we don't have it) for that one day?

What ever happened to Keeping It Simple & Short (KISS)?

Ok - so that never applied to weddings, ever.

Since I've attended more Indian Weddings compared to any other, I know how extravagant Indians can be and how they really go all out - just so friends and relatives etc don't comment on it. Malays just have this huge kenduri party where all the kampung people come together and cook, and you have your ayam masak merah, rendang, and air sirap. Chinese would limit the guestlist inviting only the important people - i should know. (I never knew some folks in my team were married till, I saw them bring their kid to the office a year or so later) or heard from someone, or saw a wedding photo pinned up at the cube. But that's fine, saves me the ang pow money ;). The Indians however, will invite everyone. Because they think they have to. It's a question of dignity and pride.

So I got to attend 2 Indian weddings in March. The 1st of a dear friend of mine, Anushia who married a German guy, Daniel and the second a family friend's.

As simple as it gets and yet beautiful - That's how I would describe Anu's wedding.

(Anu, Premilla and I met in 2002 at a Girl Guides Leadership Training in Seremban. We've been the closest of friends since, despite Anu travelling for work and being away to do her Masters for a year in UK, and Prem located in London with PwC, we make it a point to meet whenever both of them are back, or even if either one is back in the country.) Anu had started planning for the wedding once she got back from her studies.

I remember how she wanted the wedding to be simple (we spoke about it years ago). So simple, even Prem and I weren't on the list. She wanted a wedding at the Scott Road Temple in Brickfields since that's where her parents got married. For those who don't know, it's a prestigeous temple built by the Ceylonese comminuty.

**(The word Ceylonese (The Brits used to refer to Sri Lanka as Ceylon), is usually used in Malaysia by Sri Lankan Tamils to differenciate themselves from the Indians here. Despite the fact that the Sri Lankan Tamils themselves did migrate to Sri Lanka from the southern part of India, they refuse to categorise themselves as Indians.) **

So fancy a temple being called prestigeous! It really is a nice looking temple from the outside. I've not set foot inside, so I won't be able to comment on that. Anushia found out that to have the wedding there (Simple or Not) would cost her quite a bit, just for the name. It's all in the brand isn't it? That plan went out the window.

The wedding was later held at a Golf Resort in Seremban. From her ideal guest list of only parents and closest relatives at Scott Road Temple, to a 100 something people guest list, to a 300 people guest list . . .The last number was somewhere between 200 and 250 after much drama. Lucky for her Daniel's list was no more than 20. She had a little do the night before for the neighbourhood folks who weren't invited to the wedding. Afterall her family just moved to Seremban from Sitiawan a few months before, so they weren't the neighbours you knew for years. Practical I would say.

Anu's wedding saree was a pretty red saree. That's her favourite colour. Her make-up was done by Ashwini, her sister. She hired a saree tying lady, which is, well a must if you are not a pro at saree tying. And you really wouldn't want any mis-haps tying that wedding saree. Also Anu had a few non Indian friends who needed to tie saree and Daniel's sister as well. Somehow I feel in that "I need help with my saree!" category, due to the fanciness of my saree.

The wedding and reception were held together at the same place. The ceylonese wedding was cut short to 45 minutes. (A complete Ceylonese wedding takes up to 3 hours, the bride has a change of saree and wears a veil). And you guessed it. There was no veil or saree changing involved here. Anu was thoughtful enough to have an evening ceromony so those from KL and beyond would have time to travel back before it got very late. High tea reception instead of the usual dinner was something refreshing as well. Being the very proud Malaysian that she is, Anu made sure there was a variety of Indian, Chinese and Malay food served. I've never seen Roti Jala at an Indian wedding :). Or see couples YAM SENG at an Indian wedding. . . But this one had it.

Next was an orientation session, thanks to Daniel's Scouts Buddies. This was to initiate Anu into the "Scout Circle", and as a sign of Initiation, they both received a custom made scarf with both their names on it.

What I really loved about Anu's wedding was the fact that she and Daniel took the pains to come up with a little booklet containing Details of the Ceromony and it's meaning.

Why are they walking around the fire, what's the significance of everything they do throughout the ceremony.

Something very thoughtful, meaningful for the guests, especially those who are non Indians. And yet, I dare say the Indians probably didn't know what each and every part of the ceremony meant. Because I didn't. And this was definitely something different Anu!

So to the Beautiful Couple, I wish you all the best and God Bless!