Well, it has come to that time in my life..
I will be turning 26 this month.
One by One, my fellow girlfriends are starting to walk down the aisle.
In fact it started in 2004. Baz, one of my closest buddette fron High School tied the knot with an Aussie dude 12 years her senior. She looked absoloutely GORGEOUS in her Kebaya outfit. I still remember how tomboyish she was at school. Naughty and mischievious, she was the leader of the pack. 6 of us in the gang. We called ourselves JSD95. We had a pair born in January, September and December. And 1995 was the year we were together in the same class, sat in pairs and drove our teachers up the wall. Till date the December pairs are married. Izu has a baby girl already. Baz is still Baz.. Only to others she's known as Rina the PR Manager for Hyatt.
On the 9th, the older September Pair tied the knot. Zatul looked beautiful in her baju too! She was my table mate. Now that doesn't mean the younger of the September pair is next in line. As that would mean yours trully!
Nope! Not me.. Not Yet..
The same week, another close friend from college, Puni tied the knot. Now she has been going out with her man for 6 years! Holly Crap! if she were married that long she would have a kid in Kindy already! Well... that is... is they were super productive or careless... ;)
When I went out with her a few months before the marriage, she was all bubbly about the whole wedding thingy. She's a perfectionist when it comes to these planning stuff. And was telling me about the whole preparation thingy she was working on.
The Studio Photos, the Caterers, the Reception, the Decorators, the Outfit.. She was spared from the marriage bit as that was taken care of by the boys side. And lucky for her the boy is a Malayalee. Which basically means the whole ceromony would be over in nothing more than 30 minutes! As opposed to a Ceylonese style wedding that's gonna take nothing less than 2.5 hours! Thats like an Entire INDIAN Movie minus a song a few fight scenes!
So, here she is telling me how happy she is and how they were the only surviving couple from college.
Do I envy her?
NO!
Then what?!
I sallute her. I really do. Hats off Puni! 6 years is a bloody long time. I have seen people go out for 8 or 9 years and then the entire relationship comes to a screeching halt! So Puni, you got it goin gal!
Then a few weeks before the wedding she calls me up to remind me about the date, and we ended up having a chat. This time it was a different Puni I was speaking to. She was nervous, sad, all that mixed feeling stuff. Still happy abaout marrying her man no doubt. But still, when the AFTER MARRIAGE reality starts setting in.
She was to move to JB as Prads works in Singapore, she'll be living with the InLaws for at least a month before getting her own place. All the more reason for a girl to be nervous. Sad about leaving her 3 sisters, whom she's been really attached to.
So I say whatever I can think of to make her feel a little better. Like how she'll get to see them at least once in a month or something.
Yea, she agrees. But it won't be the same. Point taken. Sure it won't. Because he'll be calling her a million times to know where she is, what she's doing, when is she going to be done. Sure.. that's only the characteristics of an Indian man, don't you now it by now? (i know for sure after reading this, no single indian guy is gonna want to date me) Yea, but after a while it gets annoying, she says.
And what does she do about it?
I do the same when he's out with his friends. So he knows how I feel!
Frankly if this was 5 years ago, I'd say Brilliant Gal! You show him that!
But it's 5 years later.
Besides my very minimal experience in long term relationships, I have witnessed other peoples relationships, and even marriages to know this and I tell it to her as it is.
Puni, Men are DAFT! They are STUPID! (now i know no man is going to want to go out with me for sure! - Lesbian hood here i come!) They don't take hints, they won't get it if you wrote it in HUGE Letters on a Placard with NEON Lights!!! They are men, you gotta tell them. And you gotta tell them a few times!
Err.. Really?!
Hell, yea REALLY! Hasn't 6 years thought you anything? (no - i didn't tell her that)
Maybe I'll tell him later.
Not a good idea.. the sooner the better. Because if you're gonna tell him this bugs you 5 years down the road, he's going to turn around and say it didn't bug you then why is it bugging you now?
Okay, enough about shooting down the male species bit. I know women aren't the most perfect creatures either. We have our Flaws, our share of imperfection.
But my point is this... It all comes downs to communication. How important it is and how people take it for granted. Couples especially.
It helps that I just watched The BreakUp staring Jen Aniston and Vince Vaughn just the day before. How that relationship lacked not just communication but TIMELY COMMUNICATION. Because when the Vince finally realises and speaks out, Jen has lost her feelings for him. That's why not just communication, but TIMELY communication is essential.
I don't know if I made any sense to her. At that point she had a million things at the top of her head, this one might have just slipped.
Either way, This Blog is dedicated to all My Gal Pals who have Walked Down the Aisle and who will be doing so in the future.
I love you gals and wish you all the best!
Just don't ask me when my turn is coming up okay ! ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment