Am I Gorgeous or Am I Gorgeous!?

So i had some spare time at the office this Saturday.
Instead of Job Hunting This is what I discovered :

Aaah...
What can i Say....
All those lucky people... looking like me... ;)

Attractive

I came accross this Vid by Deepak Chopra.

"The most important key to attraction is, that you feel attractive to yourself. If you feel genuinely attractive, you will attract other people to you".

I think this is an important concept women should take note of.
Women are more critical of themselves compared to men.
Women also find it more difficult to embrace their flaws and weakness (especially the physical ones).

Of course it doesnt really help that we have all those ads with skinny, tall models flaunting they're long shiny hair, or flawless skin, wearing size 2 dresses and.... well, you get the point. The idea of beauty is really a distorted one.

Gosh Ladies! It's all make up.... Watching shows like America's Top Models and such only prooves that point. Surely you've seen those girls before the photo shoots. The freckles and moles...

Check out the movie Little Miss Sunshine.
It's about a little girl - Olive, who's got all her hopes on winning the Little Miss Sunshine pageant.
Her family practically sacrifices everything, and her grandfather's life just so she can participate.

*was just imagining myself as that kid. would my parents do the same? I think Amma will give me the "Arche vaangirathe!" or "Slap your face then you know" threat! he he he! ..

Anyways, back to the movie..
Among all the contestants, Olive seems to be the only normal kid around. While other's are all dolled up and fake looking... Eeeuurgh!
And bla bla bla.. family realises what a freak sho it is... all ends well.. go check it out!


So to all my girlfriends out there, you're my friend because you're bootyful, err, i mean beautiful by my standards!

And how do i feel right now?
I quote the wise saying words of Mr. Powers....

" I AM A SEXY BEAST!"

"YEA BABY!"

WEIGHT for Me . . . . I’ll be back . . . .

24 April 2007 I'm so closed to not making it, to write this blog. All my thoughts keep coming when I'm far far away from me laptop. Oh, I'm going to cut the crap and get to the point. I have been struggling with weight issues ever since I can remember.

Okay, maybe not really struggling the whole time, but I’ve had comments throughout my life. And at some point I actually became chubbier than I used to be, it became a struggle. I guess that's probably due to the people around me. They were either thinner than me, or just called me fat (in a teasing way, sometimes seriously).

I don’t recall being like most girls. You know, the type who’d go like “I’m so fat!” or “Oh my god, he she said I put on weight!” even when they were at an ideal or average weight, and then start starving themselves.

I was never really slim. Slightly above average chubby. Never bothered to give up those chocolates or ice-creams or cycle for 30 minutes a day , or run on the treadmill. I was just happy being me.

And then it happened. As I grew older, I started pilling on the kilos! And in a 3 years period I steadily put on 10 Kgs. In that 3 years I was on and off a couple of diets. And each time I went back to my diet it got tougher to loose the weight.

The bulk of that 10 Kgs, I put on when I went on my US trip! Those darn mash potatoes and milk shakes were so good! How could I resist?
And I continued to put on after that.

Friends, colleagues, even people I newly met would comment on my weight. Very undiplomatically asking if I ate a lot or don’t exercise. Seriously people! How insensitive can you get?!

At some point I thought I was the sensitive one. Until I had a chat with my close friend who told me she was on the same boat. And how people would just comment bluntly, and it really pricked her too!

But it really started bugging me when my parents started to speak to me about it. My sister was the slim and slender one. Basically everything my mom was before she gave birth to her. And I was starting to turn to my mom after she gave birth to my sister.

As unfair as it may see, yes.. my sister was the one who ate more than me and yet could maintain her figure effortlessly. Even if she gained a little, it didn’t take much for her to loose it. Unlike yours truly.
I was of course in denial for a bit. Trying to get into jeans that actually wouldn’t fit me, or wear my T’s that were really a little more tight than it really should. Yet I used to stuff myself in it anyway.

It then came to a point where I was beyond stuffable into those clothes and decicded to put those clothes away in my big black back until the day came.

Without realising it, that started to get me depressed. And I started to eat more and more. Usually piling on the carbs. After watching all those OPRAH! Shows, I knew what I was turning into. An Emotional Eater. The more my weight was mentioned, the more I started to stuff myself.

It came to a point I started avoiding people. My parents would call almost everyday, especially my mum. And when they asked questions like “What did you eat today?” or “Why are you at the Mamak so late? You’re not supposed to eat now”. That would push me further into that dark hole I was already in.

I decided to go into isolation. At least from them. I know they were concerned. but I also knew that somehow, secretly my dad was worried with the given age and the fact that I’m still single.

Being the feminist I am, I told my mom how people really should take me as I am and not as I weigh. Of course my mom used the cleverer approach, “We’re concerned about your health”. Nevertheless, they totally stressed me out.

My Own Battle. . . .
It’s been about a month since I spoke to them. I avoided their calls. My mom, my dad, my sister.
I just need to focus and not get pushed into that depressed mode again.

And hence the Battle begins… This is a battle against myself!
The battle to get back into shape.
The battle to get back into my old clothes without having to stuff myself into it.

I started off with Yoga 2 almost 2 months ago. And started the gym. It’s been a good month and a half after my surgery and no more excuses. Walking on the treadmill.

After 3 weeks of gyming and regular eating with cut downs on the snacks, I didn’t feel like I lost anything, though I fell good about myself.

And that’s when I realized, that our body is more complicated than it really seems!